We gathered the rest of the survivors inside our fortified apartment, to discuss our admittedly drastic plan. Leaving out a handful of details for the sake of credibility. I began the description.
"After our visit with the alien overlords, we have identified a potential weakness in Vakarian battle strategy, inspired by our observation of United Nations resistance fighters in Peru. They have several scout craft around the world linked to their engines via some complex means. Basically, we destroy these craft, their mothership goes boom. There are several craft, presumably quantum linked and acting as failsafes to each other. We need every single one destroyed, but the good news is there's only one left. Right on our doorstep."
I could sense the incredulity in the room. The doubt and the fear. We were still students after all. Little more than children so far out of our depth. So I had to be more than that if I hoped to inspire these people. I continued.
"I know it all sounds a bit Star Wars, a bit Independence Day. But it's true. We prevent them for beaming a signal to the mothership, and they're toast. I don't ask you to help for my sake, or for yours. Not even for the sake of your friends and families, the city in which you study, your country. Fight for your planet. Like the brave soldiers of UNIT I witnessed. Like the myriad resistance groups worldwide who are holding out against the Vakarians. They have all played their part, it is time for us to play ours."
The room seemed split. About ten were cheering and applauding, while five (including Sarah) were looking at their feet. I pressed my advantage.
"We've all lost someone to these bastards. Today is the day we take our revenge. But if you don't. If you're not willing or able, I shall not hold it against anyone. These are desperate and trying times, none of us asked to fight. Just know that if those of us who do go die in the name of hope, that you will be left to face the Vakarians alone." More cheered. I looked at the dozen or so volunteers before me. Not exactly an army but all we were able to muster.
I asked around the group, looking to see if anyone had seen or heard strange noises the night before the Vakarians came. Three people described strange occurrences in the south-east of the city that evening, centered around the Elysian. The tallest building in Cork, built for luxury apartments commanding a pristine view over the city as a whole, with beautiful riverside frontage. It seemed a good fit upon which to subtly park a spacecraft.
We gathered downstairs to raid the gardening sheds. These buildings were storage units for the campus gardeners, and full of equipment, including wheelbarrows, rope and plastic barrels. We lashed together three small rafts which could support the combined weight of 15 of us, such that we could sail downriver until we reached the Elysian. This way, we could avoid Vakarians until the last possible moment. Thankfully ranged weapons weren't in their playbook. Worryingly, we were not bothered by Vakarians while making our preparations. Their forces were presumably concentrated downriver closer to our goal.
With all of our plans underway, I excused myself from the group and returned to my apartment bedroom for some privacy. I had barely shut the door before I began sobbing, my shoulders shaking with the effort. This was my first moment really facing the enormity of our situation. I had lost dear friends, nearly lost Susan... thousands were dead in Cork alone, the scale was petrifying... and in the middle of it all, I thought I could play the hero... After a few minutes of being surrounded by my own doubts and fears, I tensed as the door opened. Susan walking in, gently shutting the door behind her. Wordlessly, she sat on the bed next to me. I tried to send her away, keep her from swing me like this, but I couldn't muster the energy. Sue just embraced me, tenderly. I found myself pouring my feelings out, every stress and fear from the past few days.
"I'm no leader, I don't have a plan, not really. It's a loose collection of assumptions, based on little evidence. The entire plan is shaky. Even if we do sail safely, even if we do land, if we do find the right place, of we do shut down the signal, nothing might change."
"It gives hope to your friends. That must count for something."
"It is a fools hope. Most of them are going to die on this goose chase, in my name. Because I gave them the hope they needed to sacrifice themselves. That's not noble, it's blind faith. I'm no more a leader than any of them. They all believe in a lie. In a me who can battle dark forces, defeat great evils, but I'm a scared boy playing pretend."
"I'm frightened too. Constantly, of what we might lose. But I'm more worried of what we WILL lose if we don't fight. If we fail to win, we lose our lives. If we fail to fight, we lose our humanity."
"How can I be the figure they see me as?!" I yelled, voice rising with fear. "When they believe in a lie, and I don't even believe in myself... How can I be the man everyone thinks I am when nobody believes in the man I truly am?"
"Listen." Sue said, placing a hand on my shoulder. "I believe in you. Not the swashbuckling hero you though. I believe in the Arven who gets me home safe after a night out. The you who sat on my birthday cake last year. The you who is an idiotic, charming, foolish brilliant man. I believe in the man I love, the man before me."
I realized how much of a fool I was being, feeling sorry for myself, skulking into depression. I wasn't alone in this fight, I never was. Not just against the Vakarians, I mean in general. I've always over-analysed things, been so caught up in my own negative thoughts that I've missed what's been in front of me. So I leaned forward and kissed her, which she returned. I'll leave this part of my tale here. Some things should remain private after all.
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