Somewhen in Victorian London, two aged adventurers, two intrepid investigators of infernal incidences find themselves in the jaws of a treacherous trap.
HGJ: "Well, this is another fine mess we've gotten ourselves into, isn't it? The pair of us perilously penned in by sadistically sharpened spikes. Oh, I feel as if the walls are closing in!"
PGL: "I'm afraid to say that's not just claustrophobia talking, old chap. They are literally shrinking."
HGJ: "Corks!"
PGL: "And furthermore, judging by the sanguinary stains, we're not the first helpless captives to have ended up in this contraption."
HGJ: "Trust that crooked cove to have one final trick up his dastardly sleeve. We do have bad luck when it comes to magicians it seems."
PGL: "Really Henry, it's a wonder you still employ such practitioners, given your track record."
HGJ: "Because preeminent prestidigitation packs in the punters more than anything else. Even including the added cost of repairs following the odd "rogue" act. Perhaps we could discuss professional details when we're not in mortal peril?"
PGL: "Ah. I was afraid you'd ask that. You see, all of the controls for this room are above us, through the hatch we fell through."
HGJ: "Which is tauntingly out of reach."
PGL: "Exactly. And there's nothing of any substance lying around this room either. I can't see anything we could use to brace between the advancing walls, or anything that could jam the mechanisms."
HGJ: "So that's it then? Nothing to do except sing 'God save our gracious Queen' as we wait for our demise?"
PGL: "I'm sorry old friend. It's the end of the road. I just can't see a way out of this one. At least we managed to stop that fiend though. One last victory for us, before the end."
HGJ: "A meager consolation, I'm afraid. I'd prefer dying of old age and too much good living than dying a Hero's death. If I'm honest."
PGL: "How about dying side by side with a dear friend"
HGJ: "Now that, I can drink to."
Jago reaches into his breast pocket, revealing a monogrammed hip flask.
HGJ: "A little something I carry around in case of emergencies. May as well have a drop, I have a feeling I'll be going teetotal in the near future. What do you say to sharing one last drink, George?"
PGL: "It would be an honour, and a privilege, Henry. Everything has its time, unfortunately. Mortality is the curse, or the blessing of our universe, it seems."
HGJ: "Mortality, a blessing?"
PGL: "Circle of life, in a way. The old must give way to the new, if Darwin and his survival of the fittest is to be believed. Besides, what's the point in living forever if you can't stay young? I'm not the man I used to be after all. I'm old, I creak, I'm seized. Happens to us all, as entropy ticks onward. My best days are behind me. Maybe it's best to leave before I can witness my worst."
HGJ: "There's something about mortal peril that really makes one reminisce, isn't there?"
PGL: "We've been through so much together, it's true. You and I, not to mention Ellie, Quick, Miss Leela and the Doctor. I often think back to that foggy night, nearly 30 years ago now."
HGJ: "That night when we shared the cramped confines of a dumb waiter? When the brave and bold HGJ first crossed paths with the intelligent and irreplaceable Professor Litefoot? Our first case, defeating the despicable and depraved degenerate, Magnus Greel."
PGL: "The very night. It was the first of many adventures we'd come to share in, not to mention the dawning of the dearest friendship I've yet known. I often dwell on those moments, in the dead of night, and I bless my lucky stars that I met such a wonderful man as yourself to call a friend."
HGJ: "The honour is all mine. Befriending such a magnanimously magnificent man as your peerless self was a turning point in my life, no doubt. I cherish our investigations, but not as much as I cherish our friendship."
PGL: We sure had our moments, didn't we? The Mahogany Murderers... The Scorchies..."
HGJ: "Egyptian gods, malevolent monsters, corrupted Colonels... we've seen it all. But..."
PGL: "You wish we could have seen more, all the same?"
HGJ: "Is it selfish to think that? Despite the sheer number of complex conundrums and exciting escapades we've ventured into, I feel we should have had more..."
PGL: "It's not selfish, it's human. Everybody has regrets at the end, because it's always the ending that is regretted. Bit we had our time, and we made the best use of it that we could. Every moment was lived to its fullest extent. Whether through joy or sorrow, we pushed on, saw the most amazing vistas, experienced the most wonderful events."
HGJ: "Not many people can claim to have stood on multiple worlds. Or travelled through time."
PGL: "In the end, we are what we leave behind. And you and I? We've left behind some amazing stories. We've saved Queen and Country countless times, we're leaving behind a future, Henry. The world can continue on without us, because of us. If you catch my meaning."
HGJ: "Well said, George. Well said. We are all just stories in the end. As the Bard said, life is but a stage, with us as mere characters. Vibrant yet hollow, eternal yet fleeting. While the play may end and the curtain must fall, each character lives on in the retelling, in the hearts of the audience. The only tangible effect a life has is how it impacts other people. You George, brought joy to those who knew you, fear to those who stood for evil and even your work brought a sort of relief to the relatives of the deceased."
PGL: "While you Jago, have brought untold mirth to London with your theatrical trade, as you would say."
HGJ:."Thanks George. Look! It's nearly time... I can feel the spikes pressing into my suit. There's only so long I can suck in my stomach for."
PGL: "Goodbye old friend! It's been..."
...
...
...
HGJ: "What's taking so long? We hadn't got all day you know!"
PGL: "You realize you're shouting at a wall..."
HGJ: "It's too darn slow. I can't handle this suspense."
E: "Sorry Mr. J! Be with you in a jiffy! This machine is harder than it looks.
HGJ&PGL: "Ellie?!"
Ellie: "Of course it's me! Sorry if you're disappointed, but the Inspector is busy dealing with the Tower Guards who tried to stop us entering. Cor, imagine how hard it must have been for him to operate within such a secure place..."
PGL: "How did you find us?"
Ellie: "Easy. Just followed you both from the Red Tavern. If you both survive, I hope it'll teach you to not invite me on your little adventures."
HGJ: "How much of our conversation did you overhear?"
Ellie: "Enough to know the gist. Y'know, it's fun to listen to mortals discuss death when you're technically a vampire."
