TW Casefiles: The Never-War (2)

I didn't get much sleep that night. I spent most of my time in a kind of restless, half-sleep, lost in ruminations. Perhaps I had slipped into a kind of paranoid fantasy, how did I ever expect to stumble across aliens in Cork, much less actually engage them in combat. So far, my crusade had resulted in a few moderately thought out survival plans, a little physical training, and a cupboard of emergency rations. The only emergency any of us were ever likely to face would be if we were hungover and too poor to pay for takeout.  Perhaps it would be for the best if I just got on with the life I had in front of me.

The following morning I awoke late, having succumbed to weariness as the sun was rising. It was already noon by the time I rushed from my apartment and into my lab. Tony was already well settled in the room, having claimed the hotly contested window desk. The lab was moderately sized, with double door at the rear of the room opening into twelve workstations. Each workstation consisted of a sink, gas tap, power socket and a work table with desk space, and a press containing glassware such as beakers. There were no bubbling vats or arcing electricity, the lab was kept in a respectable working order. This was a room of science, not an alchemists den.

One of the far corner of the room, next to the blackboard contained the only exception to this rule. This was our "pile of crap", a random assortment of broken equipment, useless gubbins, defunct technology and old textbooks left behind by successive generations of students and lecturers alike. Pride of place in this pile was an old lab project of ours. We had built a small contained circuit designed to function as a photodiode. This quickly earned the name Jeff among our year. Jeff Goldblum being one of our idols, for no adequately explainable reason. Indeed, Jeff Goldblum can still be found in myriad forms across our campus. If you ever find a photo of Jeff on a random object, it was probably us.

The other item of reverence in this collection was the staff of density, so named for our flair for the dramatic, and Back to the Future jokes. In reality, it was merely a meter long metal rod which was occasionally used for pointing and gesticulating. As you can imagine, it can get boring in a physics lab when you're waiting on an experiment, or code to compile.

"Afternoon Arven. Nice of you to join us." mocked Tony, as I entered.
"No need to be cocky, just cause you got the good seat." I countered, smiling. "Besides, didn't get much sleep last night."
"Yeah, you were acting a little funny yesterday. But you're better now, yeah? No more pansy ass crap?"
Tony's capacity for empathy has never ceased to amaze me with its shallowness. I chose instead to change subjects, to avoid the awkwardness.
"So, looking forward to D&D tonight?"
"Yeah, Dave is meeting the girls at your place to run through their characters after lunch, yeah?"
"Yeah" I answered. "And we join them after college. It'll be good to DM again. Haven't found a decent group in months."
"That's not true!" Tony exclaimed. "What about the Towers of Wonderment?"
"When you set fire to an entire Elvish forest? I said a decent group."

Some time passed while we worked quietly. We were both deep in concentration, so it took us a few moments to be aware of a deep rumbling coming from outside. I looked up to see Tony peering out the window.
"What's the racket?" I called over, as I joined him by the glass.
"Nothing that I can see. Sounds a bit like a plane passing over."
"Yeah, but that happens all the time, we're 3 miles from an airport. This sounds louder than that."
The sound had been steadily drawing closer, louder. I began to worry that it might actually be a plane, decending at a rapid pace. Just as I was about to air my fears however, the noise fizzled out.
"Weird." said Tony, shrugging as he turned back to his laptop.

"Fuck!" he cried. I spun around to face him.
"What?"
"Did you touch my laptop? It's dead. Completely dead!"
"No I didn't touch it. It's probably installing updates or not charged."
"Damn it, I've been running that code for hours."
"Maybe it's the socket. You know what the wiring in this place is like."
"Yeah, yeah. Didn't a first year get electrocuted last year?"
"True. He's fine, though his hair will never be the same again." I said somberly. I gave Tony a hand moving his laptop to the next workbench along. Still it wouldn't power on.
Tony sighed. "Maybe the power is out in the building. Look! The LEDs on the projector are off too."
I slipped my phone from my jeans.
"I'll check out the campus News Feed, see if there's... hmm."
Tony frowned at me. "Was that a good hmm or a bad hmm? You know I hate hmms."
"My phone is dead too. Just like your laptop. My watch as well."

I tried not to panic, even though this was obviously more than just a problem with the power grid. Something had seemingly rendered all electronic devices inert. How widespread was it? Was it our building, Cork, the whole country? I dared not not to think about the impact on hospitals and transport.
"What if it was a sort of EMP?" I suggested after a few moments.
"You mean like a solar flare?" asked Tony.
"NASA are normally good at seeing that kind of stuff in advance, but I dunno." I replied.
"Or Nuclear Detonations. EMPs are a byproduct of nuclear bombs."
"Tony, if a nuke went off, I don't think we'd be here to discuss the lasting effects. No, this feels like something else entirely."

The cold dread in the pit of my stomach eased somewhat. Now that I'd ruled out more terrestrial causes for this problem, I was strangely calm. This must be something alien, something rifty. This was something I could handle. Oddly enough, I'd spent so much of my life stressing over minutia of daily affairs, now that a real existential threat had arisen I was somehow OK with it.

TW Casefiles: The Never-War (1)

My name is Arven, and I've made the biggest mistake of my life. And believe me, I have experience at making mistakes, but those are tales for another time. No, the biggest mistake I ever made was choosing to stop travelling with the Doctor. All of time and space, and I chose to stay in 21st century Cork. Although, to be fair, I had my reasons if you recall.

I was thrust into the Doctor's path by coincidence, as so many of his companions are. Together, we learned that my life had been manipulated by external forces, I was an unwitting and oblivious pawn in some cosmic game beyond my understanding. Kind of a buzzkill, if I'm honest. I had also learned that my city lay on a fault line. Not an earthquake inducing geographical fault line, but a cosmic, temporal, metaphysical teat in the fabric of reality. A chasm through which despicable evils from across the universe may enter our world.

I decided that I had best return to defend  Cork from such extraterrestrial threats, should they appear, using my experience with the Doctor. Quite how I expected to do this, I never really thought about at the time, though I feel I was really looking for an excuse to return to my boring dull and safe life. The Doctor realised this too, so he did not force the issue, just dropped me home and continued on his merry way.

I soon realized the reality of my reality however. I couldn't tell anyone about my time fighting space pirates, or Daleks.  Nobody would believe me. Nor could I return to my old life. My eyes had been opened to a broader world, and I couldn't just recork that bottle. The genie was released. So I found myself trudging through my daily routine, a subtle but noticeable divide forming between me and my friends. They didn't know what I was dealing with, how could they? I had to suffer in silence, unable to find solace or respite from my regrets. Don't feel too sad about me though, remember I'm writing this to explain how I formed Torchwood Cork, so there's a happy end. Eventually.

It had been three months since I had turned down the Doctor's offer. I had steadily become increasingly morose and withdrawn. Noticing this, my friends had organised an evening of fun in our student apartment, in an attempt to cheer me up. There were five of us in all. Dave, master of understatement and Captain. obvious. Susan, student of history and my secret crush. Myself, of course, along with Tony and Sarah.  We were gathered in the combined kitchen/sitting room of my college flat, spread across two sofas arranged perpendicular to each other, across from the television. Me and Dave sat on one sofa, Sue and Sarah on the other, while Tony was on a stool between the two sofas. We circled a stained coffee tabke, covered with the remnants of a board game awaiting tidying. The conversation had turned to zombies, as was oddly frequent in our group.

"All I'm saying is, you'd be totally screwed in an apocalypse!" said Susan, directing her mock scorn at Dave.
"It'd be grand." he responded, unfazed.
"How do you propose we 'hold Tesco' exactly. It's a wide open ground floor building with extensive glass frontage. Not feasible."
"Ah, but you could use the shelves to block up weak points. Plus, tinned food for rations, and fresh food to plant a garden!"
"Yeah, but everyone will have the same idea, it'll be a bloodbath."
"How about a boat?" interjected Tony.
"Hmm, tricky to obtain but a floating fortress is appealing." said Susan.
"If you could make it self sufficient with a saline treatment system that is." added Sarah.
"Oh, an island base!" boomed Dave, excitedly.
"What about you Arven?" asked Susan. "What's your plan?"

I thought about her question for a moment. Why had I been singled out? Was I being too quiet in the conversation, lost in thoughts of time? I thought about my answer for a moment. Of course I had one lined up, I like being prepared for the impossible. That was one thing I learnt while travelling in the TARDIS. Be prepared.

"Well, firstly it's all about location." I began. "These apartments, there are three to a block, right. One on top of the other, accessed by a spiral stairway in a tower in front of each building."
"I think we know where you live, Arven." mocked Tony. Sarah followed up with a sharp jab to his ribs. I continued.
"The exterior door of the tower is electronically locked, so useless once the power is out. Similarly, the ground floor is too indefensible, the main windows too big and low to the ground. So we move everyone to the top floor, and place barricades on the stairs. Thus, our defenders can attack with a high ground advantage, in a single defensible point."

"What about food?" asked Dave.
"We survive on what we have in stock. I've got a shelf of tinned food in case of emergencies over there. We can send our most nimble on scouting runs to other apartments and shops. As for weapons, none of us have easy access to guns, but we do have a small cache of working bows and swords. I spend some time in MedRen displaying medieval weapons and cutting melons in half on open days."

"That does seem a detailed plan. I'd prefer a long handled weapon though. Better reach. Or maybe a machete." mused Tony.
"Or a katana!" said Dave.
"No!" I said, perhaps a bit to forcefully. "Useless, we don't have either of those. We need workable, practical solutions. Oh, and the word you're looking for is a pike!"

"Easy tiger, we're only having a laugh." Tony replied.
"See if you're laughing when the shit hits the fan!"
"But none of this is serious, zombies aren't real." Susan pleaded.
"Maybe not. But other things are."
"Calm down Arven." said Tony. "You're beginning to sound like a doomsday prepper."

I took a few deep breaths, and composed myself. I'd gone too far, taken a childish game and twisted it into a real situation. I was taking threats far too seriously, using zombies as a cover for my fears about the rift. Luckily, I was spared from responding as an episode of Parks & Rec came on the TV.

After a while, my guests began to disperse. As she was leaving, Susan pulled me aside. This always made my heart jump. I had feelings for her, and I was sure she had for me too. Unless I was misreading the signs, or over analysing everything. I was always too afraid to act on my feelings though, and risk losing her friendship. We were stuck in a perpetual loop of near misses.
"Arven, are you OK? Honestly." she asked, concerned.
"Absolutely. Never better." I brushed off her concerns, not wanting to admit to myself (let alone her) that I was far from alright. Even if I was honest, how would I explain my feelings of insignificance, my worthlessness, my regret over everything I've done, or didn't do... How could I risk her recoiling from me in horror at how messed up I obviously was.  I kept it hidden. I had to. But each time I lied, I hid, I died just a little more inside.

Little did I know how much would change in a day....

J&L: Game, Sutekh & Match (9)

Tomb of Sutekh

Sutekh: "See how your precious humans resort to their primitive primal instincts, Doctor? Which one will land the killing blow I wonder? They appear to be grappling intently over the dagger."

Doctor: "Leave them be, Sutekh, final warning."

Sutekh: "What kind of pathetic bluff is this Doctor? Can you not concede defeat in a more graceful way?"

Doctor: "I think you've underestimated humanity by a wide margin, not to mention me. See, there's one thing you haven't factored into your plan...  You're in my mind, limiting my actions."

Sutekh: "You are too dangerous to leave wander freely."

Doctor: "But a door once opened can be crossed in either direction. When you forced yourself into my mind, I slipped into yours."

Sutekh: "A minor issue. My mental acuity is far more powerful than that of a Time Lord."

Doctor: "I don't have to beat you though. Just distract you, keep your focus on me. Hold you back just long enough to weaken your influence on them."

Sutekh: "You think you can stand against me?!"

Doctor: "You'd be surprised how much useless trivia I've acquired over the years. I have experienced lifetimes worth of the universe. Have it all, every memory and experience, brilliant and traumatic alike. Feel my pain, my rage, my sorrow. Try and comprehend the horrors of the Time War, while I run you through five dimensional hyper-physics and Big Brother statistics."

Sutekh: "Your head is crowded Doctor. How do you stand this constant babble of voices? No matter, I can drown them out, you shall tire before I!"

Doctor: "We'll see. But it's already working, the chaps have stopped fighting."

HGJ: "I don't know what came over me..."

PGL: "How could I have intended to harm you?"

HGJ: "My mind is clearing. George, I'm sorry! I didn't mean what I said."

PGL: "It's alright Henry. I didn't mean any of it either. Not a single word. It was Sutekh, forcing us to say those things, attempting to drive us apart."

HGJ: "And he damn well nearly succeeded."

PGL: "But we still have to sort out this Sutekh chap."

HGJ: "He appears to be locked in some mental battle with the Doctor. Now's our chance."

PGL: "What can we do though? How can we possibly hope to stop a God?!"

HGJ: "I do have one suggestion, but it's somewhat troubling."

PGL: "I'm open to suggestions."

HGJ: "Well, this dagger drains life energy, correct?"

PGL: "Which Sutekh siphons off for himself... wait, I think I see your plan."

HGJ: "Any better ideas?"

PGL: "Not particularly. Think it will actually work?"

HGJ: "No idea. Time to find out. Together, George?"

PGL: "Always, my dear Jago."

Sutekh: "What do you think you're doing?! You cannot defy the will of Sutekh! Stop moving!"

HGJ: "Not likely!"

PGL: "We're no longer under your influence. Your words mean nothing now."

Sutekh: "Very well, Doctor I shall simply crush your mind and deal with the humans presently."

Doctor: "I can hold out a while longer yet. Your threats don't bother me dog-brain."

Sutekh: "Humans, drop that dagger, keep away from me! Why can't I move?"

Doctor: "I'm in control now Sutekh. And I'm holding you tight."

HGJ: "This is for turning me against George!"

PGL: "And this is for Henry! Right through your black heart!"

*Sutekh cries out in agony. His life energy stolen from him, leaving him on the brink of death.*

Doctor: "Thanks, I was really starting to snuggle there. Are you two OK?"

PGL: "Nothing a pint and a good night at the Red Tavern can't soothe. Doctor, what will become of Sutekh?"

Doctor: "His own dagger will drain him of vitality, while funneling it back into him, leaving him balancing on the brink of death. Trapped on a knife edge, alive and dead almost simultaneously. Schrodinger's Sutekh, in a sense. He's not getting out of this one."

PGL: "What a tragic fate. Is there no other option?"

Doctor: "Afraid not. Osirians are difficult to kill, and he's too dangerous to let live. This works as a prison designed by his own scheme. No more than he deserves."

HGJ: "Well then, it's game, Sutekh and match I suppose. Now, I think it's time for a drink."

Ext: Red Tavern

Doctor: "Right we are, outside the Red Tavern. I've checked the dates, so there's no mishap this time."

PGL: "Thank heavens for small mercies."

HGJ: "You will be joining us, won't you Doctor?"

Doctor: "I really should get going. Places to be, people to save, that sort of thing."

HGJ: "But, it's a quaint custom of ours to raise a celebratory cup after the climactic conclusion of another cracked case."

PGL: "We won't take no for an answer Doctor. Look, ever since we met you, this you, you've been out of sorts. Now, I don't claim to understand what is troubling you, nor do I think I'll be able to comprehend what bothers you. But I do know in my medical opinion, that you ought not be alone."

HGJ: "So come and join us for a nice evening, and friendly banter. It's the least we can do."

Doctor: "Go on then, just this once."

HGJ & PGL: "Allons-y!"

J&L: Game, Sutekh & Match (8)

Tomb of Sutekh, Side Chamber.

HGJ & PGL: "Agggrhhhhhh!"

HGJ: "What in the blazes?! Ugh, I don't feel half queasy after that."

PGL: "How nauseating..."

Doctor: "Is everyone alright? Long range transmats can be pretty disorienting. Mostly due to dehydration and worryingly low sodium levels."

HGJ: "Ah, so nothing a few pints and a meal at the Red Tavern won't cure. If we live to return there."

PGL: "A bit unwell Doctor, but nothing seriously wrong."

Doctor: "Good. Good. The worst side effects can result in body splicing. Very nasty stuff."

HGJ: "I swear you make up half the words you speak. Where are we Doctor, what happened?"

Doctor: "Ah. Well, basically, we've travelled. Or rather been transported by Sutekh, to what I'm assuming is the tomb in which he's bound."

GG: "Very good, Time Lord. Now if you'd be so kind as to come this way, Sutekh wishes to host an audience with you all."

HGJ: "George, it's that cove Galvani. Guess he survived his trip into that swirling vortex then."

PGL: "And still under the influence of his master by the looks of it."

Doctor: "We'd best do as he wishes. We don't have much choice. By the way, where's my TARDIS?"

GG: "I would be more concerned with your own safety than that of your ship Doctor. But it is safe in this prison. Lord Sutekh wishes to utilize it once he is finally free of his shackles."

PGL: "Guess we're plum out of luck then. No TARDIS, no plan, just a genocidal deity."

Doctor: "*whisper* Brave heart George. We have just learned one thing of value. Sutekh isn't yet free. I think sending that message to us and controlling Galvani is using just a little too much of his power."

PGL: "*whisper* You mean the dagger and amulet don't have enough energy to free him, because he's had to use some for other reasons?"

HGJ: "Fat lot of good it'll do. He has three perfectly good sacrifices in us."

Doctor: "Yes, that is the downside..."

GG: "If you are finished discussing your doom, please, follow me."

Doctor: "Right you are. Oh, I love this bit. Take me to your leader!"

Tomb of Sutekh, Crypt.

Doctor: "Ah, Sutekh. What at absolute displeasure it is to be reacquainted with you."

Sutekh: "Your droll waffling with not serve you now, Doctor. I am in control here, and I shall be free very shortly."

HGJ: "Not if we have anything to say about it, you cove!"

Sutekh: "Ah, but that's just it. None of you have any say. Not anymore. My powers are being restored to me, your minds shall be my playthings, your will shall be my wishes."

Doctor: "Now listen here Sutekh, you leave those two alone, they have no part in this. Kill me if you want, but do not harm them!"

PGL: "Doctor, you can't!"

Sutekh: "Oh, don't worry. The Time Lord is not in a position to bargain. Besides, you made them a part of events when you brought them with you to marvel at your brilliance, such as it is. You crave an audience to congratulate you on being lucky. No, they shall die, and you shall watch. It's time you learn the consequences of your actions."

Doctor: "No, Sutekh, please no! I'll stop you..."

Sutekh: "And how do you intend to stop me when you cannot even move? Struggle all you want, but I'm inside your mind, holding you down. There is nothing you can do to stop me. Galvani, it is time. I have no further use of you."

GG: "As you wish, master."

PGL: "The chap just stabbed himself!"

Sutekh: "Humans do have such a talent for stating the obvious. His life force is of more use to me than anything his body could be used for. Besides, I have three perfectly adequate slaves right here."

HGJ:."Looks like this is the end, George."

PGL: "I'm sorry it had to end like this Henry."

Sutekh: "Of course, I shan't just kill them Doctor. Humanity is such a destructive race, it's why secretly they crave the outside influences of order and structure. It's why they worship what they cannot understand. Allow me to prove there destructive desires. All it takes is a little push..."

PGL: "You know Jago, you never did pay me back that five pounds you borrowed from me."

HGJ: "Is now really the time Professor? On our proverbial death bed?"

PGL: "Quite so, me won't have another chance to mention it, after all."

HGJ: "Confound it man, I don't have it on me! You know we rushed off with the Doctor without so much as a 'by your leave'."

PGL: "How predictable, Henry Jago dodges his way out of financial strife once again."

HGJ: "What is that supposed to mean? I never leave a debt unpaid!"

PGL: "Sure you don't. You just defer payment indefinitely. Face it Jago, one could probably buy a plot if land with the amount of credit you have across London."

HGJ: "If I'm going through a temporary tightness of cashflow, I can't be held responsible!"

PGL: "Oh, because your theatre is struggling? When is it not struggling? All of your entrepreneurial exploits are doomed to fail. You've blown through life on handouts, windfalls and sheer luck, not to mention the kindness of strangers, while the rest of us have had to work to get into privileged positions."

HGJ: "Oh, and you're such a self made man, are you? Born with a silver spoon in your mouth, exotic world travels since your childhood. You were born into privilege, while some of us were raised on nothing!"

PGL: "Sometimes I wonder why I even associate with you, to be frank. Your buffoonish antics are as likely to hurt an investigation as aid it. All so you can take advantage of my good nature and dine at my expense."

HGJ: "Now we see your true colours. And I'll tell you why you associate with me. You think you're so superior, you need someone to lord it over to make soothe your soft ego."

Doctor: "Please, this isn't you! Sutekh is manipulating you!"

Sutekh: "They cannot hear you now, only the sound of their own rage! Gaze on, as the pretense of civility is torn away."

HGJ: "I'll show you, you egotistical toff!"

*Jago draws the dagger from Galvani's chest, eliciting a soft wet noise*

PGL: "Right then, you brutish ignorant oaf. Lay on! Damned be he who first cries hold, enough!"

J&L: Game, Sutekh & Match (7)

Martian Pyramid

HGJ: "How are things progressing, Doctor?"

Doctor: "Not much of an update since the last two times you've asked. Reconstructing a protonic lattice without triggering a critical implosion of the control mainframe is a tricky ask in the best of environments."

PGL: "Henry, I think it best to leave the Doctor alone for a while and let him work."

HGJ: "Right you are George. I'm sorry, it's just that I'm a man of action. My life on the stage has bred in me a certain unrest, a need to be constantly vigilant, ready to leap into a performance at a moment's notice. As a result, I'm somewhat ill at ease just waiting around."

PGL: "I understand entirely Henry. While my career as a pathologist has engendered something of a methodical aspect to my demeanor, I too find myself restless in these quiet moments during our escapades."

HGJ: "Still though, Mars. Who would have thought it? Jago and Litefoot, mightily meandering across the magnificent Martian majesty!"

PGL: "I certainly never expected us to set foot on an alien world, let alone two of them! We are particularly fortunate to have such an opportunity."

HGJ: "Intrepid explorers of exotic environments, that's us. You know, even though the fate of planet Earth hangs in the balance, I'm glad in some small way."

PGL: "Because you had the chance to experience the wonders of another world?"

HGJ: "No George. Because I was in the best of company for it all."

PGL: "Likewise Henry. Likewise."

HGJ: "Although, it's hardly worth all the bother of the travel, you know. I feel like I'd get a similar view if you gave me a can of paint and a carriage to a Welsh quarry."

PGL: "Really, Henry!"

HGJ: "All I'm saying is next time, can we face off against some fearful foe someplace nice and genteel. Like the Lake District."

PGL: "Haha, you really are the most singular individual."

Doctor: "Eureka! I think, yes! No. No no no no no! Wait, hang on, yes!"

HGJ: "Good news then Doctor?"

Doctor: "It's a bit of a rough job, but it should hold together long enough to bind Sutekh again."

PGL: "Doctor, I've just had a thought. If you first battled Sutekh in the future, shouldn't this entire structure be as it was before you first faced him? "

Doctor: "I was wondering if you'd ask that as a matter of fact. A good point, but you've got to think fourth dimensionally. The Sutekh we're fighting now is the one I trapped in a time corridor in 1911. He used that corridor to project his mind back in time. To your time. So the version of Sutekh we want to trap is the 1911 version, not the original version."

PGL: "What?! You don't mean..."

Doctor: "I do."

PGL: "This is 1911! We travelled into the future?!"

HGJ: "I don't get it."

Doctor: "It doesn't affect our strategy much, so I wouldn't worry about it Henry."

*A crackle of static fills the air*

PGL: "Oh my Lord! There, on the wall! Is it another of those viewports Doctor?"

HGJ: "It's Sutekh! How can he be here? He's supposed to be in Egypt, isn't he?"

Doctor: "It's only a transmission. Like a sort of cinematograph, only live. Well, with a two minute delay for the signal to reach Mars from Earth."

Sutekh: "Ah, Doctor, I see you and your companions have made your way to the Eye, no doubt hoping to turn it's influence upon my powers again. You are far to late, Time Lord."

Doctor: "Oh yeah, we'll see about that. There's an old Earth saying, Sutekh, an Eye for an Eye!"

Sutekh: "Even now I assume you're enacting your plan. That dreaded signal delay between our respective locations foiled my plans once before. But I, unlike you, learn from my mistakes. I sent a signal of my own, encoded in this prerecorded message."

Doctor: "No, no no. What have you done Sutekh. Thick Doctor, thick!"

HGJ: "What did he mean Doctor?"

Doctor: "He encoded a sort of malware into his transmission. Basically, he's taken remote control of the Eye of Horus, and I can't manually bypass the controls!"

PGL: "So this machine is controlled by Sutekh now."

Doctor: "There was something else hidden too. Some kind of repeating signal. Oh... Oh! That is fiendishly clever... Terrible, but clever. He's created a transmat loop!"

PGL & HGJ: "What?!"

*An energy hum signals the activation of the transmat. The pyramid is silent once more*

J&L: Game, Sutekh & Match (6)

Martian Pyramid

Doctor: "When I was last here, that was the me with the scarf, the pyramid was full of logical and philosophical puzzles, guarding the Eye itself."

PGL: "While I am loathe to overstate my abilities Doctor, I am partial to a good crossword in the Sunday papers. I somewhat relish the challenge of an alien conundrum, I must say."

Doctor: "Your skills won't be necessary I'm afraid. As I said, I was here before, so the locks are already broken, so to speak. Which is fortunate for us really, as time is of the essence."

HGJ: "What a relief! Er, that's to say, not that I doubted our performance at perplexing problems of course, but it is good that we save time."

Doctor: "A nice straight walk down this corridor will bring us right to the heart of the pyramid, to the Eye of Horus. Nothing to worry about, it's all plain sail.... GET BACK!"

PGL: "What is it Doctor?"

HGJ: "I had a feeling it was too blasted simple."

Doctor: "There's a service robot in the antechamber. Of course, it's the one I left here last time I visited."

HGJ: "Why did you do a damn fool time like that? Isn't this the only thing that could dampen his power, and you left one of his minions in charge?"

Doctor: "I didn't exactly have much say in the matter. Besides, the beam had been disrupted by then, I didn't think it would matter."

PGL: "Perhaps we can save this for the post Morten tribunal chaps. Doctor, did the mummy spot us before we ducked down?"

Doctor: "I'm not sure. No. I don't think it did."

PGL: "Then perhaps we could sneak up on it? Take it by surprise?"

Doctor: "We'd never get close to it  without being seen. This corridor is a series of rooms, with only one entry and exit way apiece."

HGJ: "Then, perhaps a distraction is required?"

Doctor: "Brilliant! If we can get it to turn around, we could rush him from behind."

PGL: "We could throw something into the antechamber, perhaps something metal, so it would make enough noise?"

Doctor: "It would also need to be small, so the robot doesn't notice it flying past."

HGJ: "I think I have just the ticket. This is the set of keys I use to lock up the theatre. And if I remove this key in particular... "

PGL: "Then we have our missile. What does this key open Henry?"

HGJ: "Nothing. Not anymore at least. Used to be for the lock on the dressing room door of Simon "Samson" Smith, the Strongman. Until he smashed it into splinters during a disagreement over stage conduct."

Doctor: "That'll do perfectly. Nice work Jago.

You know, an old key is a funny little thing. Mysterious. Pointless. Lacking in purpose, used all its potential. Whatever secrets it once protected gone forever. Fated to drift around, never really fitting in anymore. Except, still useful. In the right circumstances.

Here goes nothing. Get ready to run."

HGJ: "Hyaaahhhh!"

PGL: "Take this, you brutish cove!"

Doctor: "A-ha! Nobody builds service robots to last anymore. Shame really, everything is so disposable nowadays. Nobody ever fixes anymore."

PGL: "So Doctor. How do we repair this Eye of Horus?"

HGJ: "Place looks like a jumbled junkyard full of mangled machinery. Where do you start?'

Doctor: "I've saved the universe with a kettle and some string, defeated Daleks with nothing more than a teaspoon and an open mind. I've got this."

*A bit of electronic circuitry sparks and fizzes doubtingly*

J&L: Game, Sutekh & Match (5)

Int: TARDIS

Doctor: "Henry Gordon Jago. Professor Litefoot. Welcome back, to the TARDIS."

PGL: "Doctor, you appear to have renovated the interior architecture!"

HGJ: "I don't much care for it."

Doctor: "Oi! It's alright girl, the bad man doesn't mean it."

PGL: "It's like something from a Jules Verne novel. I'd nearly go so far as to say it appears organic! As if we're standing in the belly of some great coral beast."

Doctor: "Well, that's because she is alive. Sort of. The Time Lords designed TARDIS' to be a fusion of mind and machine, part built, part grown. But in typical Time Lord fashion the interior became stark, white and clinical. But who wants that, eh? It's a time machine, not a washing machine."

HGJ: "You mean to tell me, that we are inside a living creature?! Corks. Here I thought everytime you revered to your vessel with the feminine pronoun it was merely an affectionate affectation, some personal personification on your part."

Doctor: "No, she's alive Jago. And a little bit temperamental at times, so I wouldn't criticize her handling. She gets every so jealous."

HGJ: "Sorry TARDIS, for um, complaining about the roughness of our last journey. Ah! I'll just take this seat here. Strapping myself in should help alleviate the motion sickness."

PGL: "A capital suggestion Henry. Except, I don't see any form of safety harness."

HGJ: "Corks! Aggrrghhhhh!"

*The TARDIS dematerializes with its signature wheezing.*

Doctor: "Haha, Mars! The Red Planet! It's been far too long since I've been. Must arrange a visit when I'm not busy saving the world."

PGL: "Oh dear! Time has done little to stabilize your flight!"

HGJ: "I'd say he's doing it on purpose, Professor."

Doctor: "Oh, lighten up you two. We're just about...."

*With a resounding thud, the engines fall silent once more.*

Doctor: "There. Welcome to Mars. The views are fantastic, but I wouldn't recommend hiking without a spacesuit. Lack of a breathable atmosphere is not the most hospitable of climates."

PGL: "Is it safe to leave the TARDIS then?"

Doctor: "Relatively so. We've landed inside the Pyramid housing the Eye of Horus, so there are life support systems in place. But we are walking into a long abandoned Osirian fortress, so safety is relative."

HGJ: "Should one of us wait behind in the TARDIS? In case Sutekh manages to overpower us, of course."

PGL: "Really Henry!"

Doctor: "No need. I'll set it to phase one second into the future. It'll only reappear when I give the signal."

HGJ: "So, you plan on trapping us here until the cove is defeated."

Doctor: "We can't risk Sutekh getting his hands on my TARDIS. The destruction he could cause with access to space and time doesn't bear contemplating."

PGL: "In which case,Henry, there's nothing for it but to put your best foot forward. For England."

HGL: "For Her Majesty. Let's go, before I change my mind."

Martian Pyramid

PGL: It's a little underwhelming."

HGJ: "I've seen more impressive amateur productions of Shakespeare."

Doctor: "Oh come on! Show some enthusiasm! You're standing on Mars. In a Pyramid! On Mars!"

PGL: "Correction. We're standing in a stone corridor, lot by torches. It doesn't feel very evocative."

Doctor: "Ah. Osirian technology. It's a bit changeable. Sort of like the interior of my TARDIS. That wall there is actually a viewport. If I can just invert the polarity of the plasteel, we should be above to look outside."

PGL: "My goodness!"

HGL: "Such a stunning scene of scarlet spectacle! Such rich ruby rocks, vibrant vermilion vistas!"

Doctor: "That's more like it. But we can't stand here all day, we have a villain to entomb!"

J&L: Game, Sutekh & Match (4)

The Red Tavern

PGL: "Mars, Doctor?"

Doctor: "Yeah, come along! Admittedly, it's not as nice as Venus, but beggars can't be choosers when the Universe is in danger. Ellie, thanks for the tea, but we have to be off."

*A resounding THUD as a large mass strikes the door of the Red Tavern*

Ellie: "Use the bloody 'andle! Blimey, it's early to be that drunk. Fred, if that's you trying to get in, I swear..."

*THUD THUD*

Ellie: "Honestly! 'Ee'll take it off the 'inges if 'ee ain't careful."

*A sudden splintering of wood and the door falls inwards. Gasps and cries come from the assembled patrons*

HGJ: "Corks! One of Sutekh's mummified monstrosities!"

Doctor: "Aghhhh. It's an Osirian service robot. An animated construct controlled by Sutekh's sheer willpower."

PGL: "Damn tricky to take down too. Dashed thing is mostly hollow, so most damage passes straight through it!"

HGJ: "Pity, I was looking forward to a fight. Suppose we'll have to make a tactical retreat?"

PGL: "He's far from agile, Henry. I'm sure we can take him. I believe fire was effective, the last time I faced on of these coves."

Ellie: "You're not starting any fires in 'ere Professor! The whole place could go up! I 'ave an idea though."

HGJ: "Ellie! Watch out, it's dangerous!"

Ellie: "Yeah, but also slow as snails, Mr. J. I've dealt with far worse at last orders on a Friday night. If I can just duck in near 'im and grab that loose cloth..."

*The mummy swipes far too slowly at Ellie*

Ellie: "Now if I bundle this up... catch Jago!"

HGJ: "A-ha, I think I've spotted you plan. If I catch the bandages, and pass them back on this side..."

Ellie: "We can unravel it!"

PGL: "It's working, already I can see it's internal frame."

Ellie: "Then don't just stand there, whack it! Don't matter what controls it, it can't move with a broken skeleton!"

PGL: "Have at you, you cur!"

*The sounds of battle continue briefly, before ending with a wooden clatter.*

HGJ: "Is it over? Ashamed to admit I'm slightly out of breath. I'm not as spry as I used to be."

PGL: "Doctor, did you hit it over the head with your stool?"

Doctor: "Sorry, got a bit carried away."

Ellie: "You're paying for the damage, it's bloomin' ruined!"

Doctor: "I think we'd best be off gents. Sutekh is sending his agents after us. This is good actually. Means he's afraid that we can stop him."

HGJ: "I'm more concerned about him stopping us, frankly."

PGL: "Ellie, are you coming with us? We could use your expertise."

Ellie: "Nah Professor, someone's got to stay and look after this lot here. You just give Sutekh 'ell on my behalf."

HGJ: "So Mars then? I don't know if I can handle another perilous peregrination in that confounded capsule."

Doctor: "Nonsense Jago, it'll be fun. Allons-y!"

J&L: Game, Sutekh & Match (3)

The Red Tavern

Ellie: "Right you are lads, two pale ales for the regulars, and a pot of tea for the visitor."

HGJ: "Ta, Ellie."

PGL: "Much obliged."

Doctor: "Molto Benne! Although, won't suppose you have any of those tiny biscuits?"

Ellie: "..."

Doctor: "Thought not. Ohh, there's a look that could melt steel..."

Ellie: "So, what did I miss?"

PGL: "The Doctor has just been informing us that Sutekh is an alien warlord with genocidal tendencies, and inspiration for the myth of the Egyptian gods."

HGJ: "And he was imprisoned here on Earth by dying race, by shackles he is currently attempting to shrug off."

Ellie: "So, business as usual then?"

Doctor: "Ellie Higson, you are brilliant, you know that? If I was looking for a companion, you'd be top of the list."

Ellie: "Appreciate the thought Doctor, but I've got my hands full looking after these two. "

HGJ: "The thing I fail to understand in all this is why the need for all the cloak and dagger mystery Doctor? Why use Ellie as a messenger and turn up at the eleventh hour?"

Doctor: "This is the earliest I could arrive, actually. Since Sutekh is trapped in a time corridor, his attempts to break free caused, ripples, in time. My TARDIS was unable to penetrate this time field until..."

PGL: "Until the Quantum Flux Generator interacted with the time corridor!"

Doctor: "Exactly, that shorted out the interference patterns, allowing me a brief window of temporal calm in which I could safely materialise. All I needed to do was land safely eighty years ago, and wait."

Ellie: "Wait for me to come stumbling along you mean."

Doctor: "I'm sorry Ellie. But you were already destined to be zapped by the angel. From my perspective outside the time stream it had already happened, so I just took advantage of a bad situation."

Ellie: "Suppose you did give me bed and board while I waited for time to catch up."

HGJ: "So how does that dagger fit into this sorry mess?"

Doctor: "Ah yes. The ceremonial dagger of Anubis. The jewel in its hilt is the same material as the Eye of Horus. A densely packed mimetic crystal structure, basically it can absorb a person's life energy. With enough sacrifices, Sutekh can build up enough energy to break free of his prison."

PGL: "And the damned thing fell through the portal straight to him. Along with Galvani."

Doctor: "Yeah... my grand plan did sort of require us to keep possession of the blade. Ah well, plan B it is."

HGJ: "Which is?"

Doctor: "Er, a work in progress, mostly."

HGJ: "Ah. Helpful."

Ellie: "So, Sutekh has everything he needs to break free, and we have no leads about anything."

Doctor: "There's always the Eye of Horus."

PGL: "Limited use Doctor. Sutekh possesses that."

Doctor: "No, the other eye. For all their power, Osirians were not very creative when it came to names. Eye of Horus refers to the soul crystal that Sutekh possesses, but also the mechanism which they used to dampen Sutekh's latent power."

HGJ: "Ruddy confusing if you ask me. So where is this other Eye located? In some perplexing Egyptian pyramid? So terrifying tomb teeming with terrible traps?"

Doctor: "In a manner of speaking. Except this pyramid is not in Egypt. It's on Mars."

PGL: "What?!"

HGJ: "Ellie, we're going to need a second round."

J&L: Game, Sutekh & Match (2)

The Red Tavern

Doctor: "Ah, so this is the revered and renowned Red Tavern then? Rave repository of revelry and refreshment?"

PGL: "I wouldn't do that if I were you, Doctor. He gets ever so jealous when someone tries to upstage him."

HGJ: "Hmm. What was that?"

PGL: "Oh, nothing Henry. Just acquainting The Doctor with the house rules, so to speak."

HGJ: "Ellie! Allow me to introduce you to..."

Ellie: "Oh I know who 'ee is alright!"

Doctor: "Ellie, please, we can talk about..."

*A powerful dry SMACK as Ellie strikes the Doctor with her open palm. A hush momentarily descends on the Tavern.*

Doctor: "I probably deserved that."

Ellie: "Not 'alf! Been waiting 80 odd years to do that, Doctor. Anyways, now it's over with, what can I get you folks? Ales all round?"

PGL: "Delightful, my dear."

HGJ: "I quite agree."

Doctor: "Actually, make mine a tea, thanks."

Ellie: "Tea?!"

Doctor: "Tea, yes. You know, a hot beverage brewed from dried leaves stewed in boiling water. Usually comes in dainty cups, stained mugs, or sometimes those awful disposable cardboard things with the fiddly plastic lid. Surely you know tea, it's Victorian London!"

Ellie: "I do actually know what tea is, Doctor. It's just this place is more in the business of serving pints."

Doctor: "Fair enough. Odd to drink tea from a glass, but you're the boss."

Ellie: "I'll see what I can do. Word of warning gents, 'ee's always like this."

PGL: "Grateful for the warning Ellie. Now Doctor, it's time we received an explanation."

HGJ: "For starters, who is this Sutekh cove exactly?"

Doctor: "Sutekh is an Osirian. A great and powerful race of gifted telepaths, whose power was said to eclipse even the Time Lords. They could dominate the minds of lesser beings, manipulate inanimate objects, and project their consciousness across vast distances."

HGJ: "Sounds dashed difficult to defeat. Don't suppose there are any friendly Osirians who could help us with this Sutekh?"

Doctor: "Sutekh is the last of his kind, I'm afraid. His appetite for destruction led him to raze his homeworld to dust, and blazed his way across multiple galaxies, leaving nothing but chaos in his wake. A small group of surviving Osirians managed to corner Sutekh on Earth, in Egypt. Together, they managed to seal him inside a pyramid, supposedly for good. These Osirians perished not long after, by all accounts."

PGL: "So, you're telling us that these beings became the inspiration for the Egyptian gods?"

Doctor: "Correctamundo, Professor!"

HGJ: "If Sutekh was sealed away by godly entities, what hope do we have now that he's breaking free?"

Doctor: "Because we have the unbeatable combination of a police pathologist and a theatrical impresario! The indomitable spirit of Victorian England! Besides, this isn't my first time battling old Sutekh."

HGJ: "Aha, Doctor! Daring defeater of dastardly destructive deities!"

PGL: "Perhaps a summary of your previous encounter might help us defeat the villain this time?"

Doctor: "Sutekh was physically trapped in his pyramid while an energy field dampened his psychic powers. However, so strong was his will that he could still manipulate some weak minded humans. Over the centuries, he created a cult, driven to secure his release. They would have succeeded in 1911 were it not for a timely intervention from yours truly."

HGJ: "But that's all in the future!"

Doctor: "Time traveller, remember. I managed to trap Sutekh in a time corridor It would have taken him longer than his lifespan to reach the exit."

PGL: "Let me guess, his mental powers allowed him to continue his influence over his cultists."

Doctor: "That's my working theory anyway.  Ah, here comes Ellie with our drinks."

J&L: Game, Sutekh & Match (1)

Cult Stronghold

HGJ: "So is that it then? Did we win? Seems a tad simple."

PGL: "I don't know Henry. But Sutekh is gone, the cult is disbanded. I think it's for the best that we have one anticlimactic adventure."

*A familiar noise fades in, a wheezing groan, the sound of something politely ripping a hole in the universe. It ends with a sudden thud.*

*A door creaks open*

Doctor: "Gentlemen, no time to lose. Spit-spot! We've only just begun!"

PGL: "Great heavens!"

HGJ: "Doctor? Is it you?"

Doctor: "I am so sorry gentlemen, where are my manners? This is what happens when you travel alone too long, you forget the finer points of social graces. Henry Gordon Jago and Professor George Litefoot! The prestigious presenter and the preeminent pathologist. Learned lords of loquacious lexicography and legendary linguistics. Brilliant! You know, you two are my favourite Victorian detective duo. Well, top three at least."

PGL: "Most kind of you to say so Doctor, though modesty prevents us from agreeing with you."

HGJ: "You've not only changed faces, but you've updated your wardrobe too."

Doctor: "Geek chic! Yes sir, no trailing scarves or technicolor dreamcoats for this Time Lord. It's all the rage in the early 21st century."

PGL: "It may well be popular in the future, but I think I'll stick to a more, traditional, attire."

HGJ: "Maybe not, Professor. A striking suit like that could be just what I need to liven up my performing patter, and reverse my failing fortunes."

Doctor: "Shame, as my tailor won't be born for another 230 odd years."

PGL: "Time has always been something of an open door for you to pass though, Doctor. How long ago did we last meet, for you I mean? How many faces have you worn since then?"

Doctor: "I can't put a number on it, I'm afraid. It's been several, so many that I've honestly lost count."

HGJ: "How does a man forget his own face, even if he has several? Surely you can recall the distressing details of your own demises?"

PGL: "I must say, my dear Doctor, that I can think of one possible explanation. Your face is younger than ever I've seen it before. Yet your eyes betray you. I see the same deep and distant stare of yours in the eyes of my comrades, shipped home from the Afghan. The eyes of a man who has seen too much conflict."

HGJ: "Your gait, your baring, your endless energy. I know the signs of a man putting on a performance Doctor."

Doctor: "It's nothing. Really, it's nothing. Nothing to be concerned about at any rate."

PGL: "Doctor. Has something happened to Miss Leela? Is that the source of your sorrow?"

Doctor: "No, no. Nothing like that. Let's just say, when you live a life as long as I have, you accrue a certain amount of regret... But no point in us moping about, eh? I think it's time I explained what's going on here."

HGJ: "Will it take long?"

Doctor: "Yeah, little bit. Maybe. We are talking end of the world levels of threat here. But if you're worried about boredom, I can keep it brief."

HGJ: "In which case, I propose we continue our discussion in a more comfortable and convivial location. Red Tavern?"

PGL: "A fine notion Henry. Ellie shall be worried about us anyway. Best to set her mind at ease."

Doctor: "In which case, lead on gentlemen. Allons-y!"