The Horde of Travesties: Or, How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love the Guy (N. Smith)

Regular followers of my Twitter feed may be aware of my recent obsession with the literary works of Guy N. Smith. I would like to attribute this to my sister, who foolishly gifted me a book entitled "Night of the Crabs", with the blurb "A seafood cocktail for only the hardest of stomachs.". How was I not going to fall in love with it, regardless of quality? Here was a book series enjoyable on the same level as "so bad it's good" B-movies, like Birdemic, or The Room. Earnestly produced works with an unshakable air of pulpy trash.

Each page of my first Crabs book was a new joy. Every fact learned about Guy a revelation! This is a man who has an annual convention, in his home, for fans of his work. In practice, this appears to be a core group of 10 or so people, having a jolly evening. Presumably the published photos leave out the inevitable Devil worship. My favorite Guy N. Smith work, based on the title alone, is "Satan's Snowdrop". "It's fragrance was the sweet smell of death".

Currently, I am wading into the dark, demonic depths of "The Sucking Pit", a charming tale of a virginial  young woman who brews a Gypsy fertility potion, turning her into a sexual deviant. This is typical in a Guy N. Smith book incidentally. Currently, she has teamed up with Cornelius, a brute of a man who is both a devil worshipper and Messiah of the Romany people. Expect light racism and/or rape in this books, btw. For example, in the hit sequel to his Crab novella, a side character exists only to fill the book with smut of questionable consent.

By most metrics, I cannot call these books particularly great, objectively. But there is something about the pulpy schlock nature of them that I find morbidly fascinating. To this end, I hereby officially launch Thursday Trash Tweets, or #3T. A weekly series where I shall live tweet my reading of a Guy book, making snarky comments and pithy observations. Until I collect the treasure trove of bad literature my sister is stockpiling, the tweets shall be infrequent  however.  Watch this space.