We emerged from the TARDIS into what I could only describe as a disappointingly ordinary cabin. Wood panelling lined the walls, a four-poster bed stood against the back wall, with a desk beside it. Admittedly, there were a few anachronisms from the traditional pirate's den: the maps above the desk were digital displays, the desk contained a bank of controls and there was a deactivated service droid in a corner.
"So, first time in Space, how is it?" beamed the Doctor.
"I thought it would be a little less... pedestrian.."
"Pedestrian?!"
"I mean, there are bits of Sci-Fi gubbins on the walls, but it seems very Earth-like."
"Just wait until you get on deck!"
With that, the Doctor strode towards the cabin door, and exited. I followed, hurriedly. I gazed in awe at the spectacle before me. I was standing on a seemingly banal timber ship deck, with gigantic sails billowing above me. There was a slight blue shimmer between the deck and the sails, which I took to be a forcefield of some kind. Something to keep an atmosphere in anyway, as beyond the sails, lay an inky void, lightly dusted with flashes of light from impossibly distant stars. To the right of the vessel, a planet loomed, marbled with purple and yellows. An alien world.
I was so absorbed, that it took me a few moments to take in the crew skittering across the deck, and among parts of the rigging. Most appeared humanoid to some degree, with a few insectoid creatures and robotic drones flying around. The crew were dressed as stereotypical Earth pirates, again with certain key differences. Those with eyepatches work red, glowing cybernetic eyes, and peg legs were replaced by steampunk robotics. The crew were yet to notice our intrusion, due to some commotion on deck.
"While the Shadow Sails may have, appropriated, elements of Earthen history into their aesthetic, their technology is stunning. Molto Bene!" whispered the Doctor, in explanation. "Those sails are massive, propelled by the radiation pressure of nearby solar emissions. On-board photon engines can assist in generating additional pressure, while a trans-warp drive allows super-luminal travel between star systems. All controlled from this pirate ship, contained in an atmosphere bubble."
I had an urge to ask the Doctor about these technologies, physics and engineering were always my strong suits. I'd read a lot about theoretical solar sails, but here was an actual functioning vessel. But there were more pressing concerns.
"Doctor, I don't like the look of that gathering. What are the staring at? Something off the prow of the ship?"
"I don't know, but we should find out."
Gathered at the prow, the Captain of the vessel stood in front of his assembled crew, all fixated on the figure perched at the tip of the wooden protrusion. I could tell he was the captain because of the luxurious, red, knee-length jacket, magnificently bushy brown beard and ostentatious tricorner hat. A droid parrot perched on his shoulder, seemingly relaying data about the vessels progress to him.
The man on the prow was a thin, emaciated figure in a tattered shirt. Judging by the streaks of red, his shirt had sustained damage while he was wearing it, and recently. The assembled crew were laughing and jeering at the sight.
"Have ye any last words, before ye enters the the void of Davy Jones' Vacuum?" boomed the captain, with a voice that Brian Blessed would have called too hammy.
"Please sir! It were a mistake, I didn't mean no 'arm!" The man replied, babbling with frantic terror.
"No 'arm? NO 'ARM?! Ye damaged me first mate, fused his central processor! Ye broke me trust, me hard earned bond. Whether twas malice or incompetence, ye don't belong on me crew!"
The crowd bellowed in support of their captain, and they began to chant "WALK THE PLANK!"
"Please, no! Anything but that, I don't want to die in the void. Drop me off on an uninhabited planet. Shiver me timbers! Anything! Just please not the plank!" The man cried, giving up on bargaining for his life, now just bargaining for his death.
"Oh, 'tis a 'noble' death ye be wanting, which is more than ye deserve. But I'm a generous old captain, I'll give ye what ye desire."
He reached to his scabbard, and drew a blade. It looked like a thicker version of a fencing sword, tapering slightly to a point. Electricity arced at the hilt of the sword, and began to engulf the whole blade. With a dramatic and overly elaborate flick, the captain aimed the device at the wretch. A bolt of energy struck the figure, vaporising him instantly. The Doctor would later explain to me that this was a quantum lance, capable of oscillating atoms so rapidly that molecular bonds would disintegrate in nanoseconds.
The Doctor had just forced his way to the front of the crowd, as the captain fired.
"No! Why did you do that? You didn't have to do that!" exclaimed the Doctor.
"Ah, visitors. Might ye be wanting to have a taste of this lance too? Boys, why don't ye show these two gentlemen how hospitable we are?"
Four burly humanoid figures with porcine features grabbed, us, holding us firm.
"Is this how you treat all your guests?" I asked, mockingly. Where I found the courage, I don't know. Travelling with the Doctor does strange things to you. For my troubles, I got a punch to the head.
"Only the ones we like, laddie!"
"Then I hate to find out what happens to the less desirable visitors!" added the Doctor, drawing the ire of the captain from me.
"Pray that you don't find out."
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